Sigh. I don't even know why I'm still doing this. Even though I don't admit it, nor have I ever told anyone (since apparently none of my friends are interested in my BS anymore), I still constantly think about you.

Not like thinking about you everyday and missing you, no, it's just that there are certain moments in my life that reminds me of you. Thinking "oh kaybe he told her to ask me that" "maybe that was directed to me?" The stupid thing is that I know that it means nothing and that you probably forgot about me right now. I wish you didn't. I fear the day you realise that you can do better without me, because then I'd be severely crushed. It's just that I've helped you through so much in the past, yet I was only your tool.

Whatever your motives are, I just want you to know that one day, I will be genuinely happy. I won't be talking to other guys hoping you'd notice and be jealous. I won't be laughing loud on purpose when I'm near you but I will laugh loudly because I will cherish those moments with my other friends.

You were my first love, and I hate to say this, but I don't think I'll ever forget about you.

But I will try my best to show you that I have moved on, that I am truly happy and whole once again, and maybe, you'd probably learn from me and do the same.

Labels: Him, Life, Personal